urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz shnibz shnibz 2006-02-16T16:25:23Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:13418 2006-02-16T16:25:23Z 2006-02-16T16:25:23Z chewing <a href="http://kevan.org/johari?name=Sibo">http://kevan.org/johari?name=Sibo</a><br /><br />its cool i guess, haha probably because i dont even know what it is.<br />peace urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:13152 2005-11-10T01:36:05Z 2005-11-10T01:36:05Z 1. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to? i hope i will<br /><br />2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons? throw them away<br /><br />3.What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? i dont remember, beatles mainly<br /><br />4.What is the best thing about your current job? UNEMPLOYED<br /><br />5.Do you wish cell phone etiquette was a required class? yea, what an easy class that would be. <br /><br />6. Are you for same sex marriage? uh yes<br /><br />7. Have you been on a date in the past week? i guess<br /><br />8. Where are you going on your next vacation? belgium or england<br /><br />9. Quote a song lyric: "ima gangsta, but y'all knew that"<br /><br />10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old? mostly new, im really bad with keeping in touch<br />11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? who knows<br /><br />12. Do you like your parents? A LOT<br /><br />13. Do you still live with them? when i go home, fo shizzle<br /><br />14. What state/country are you from? ny<br /><br />15. Tell us about the last conversation you had? Henro- highlights of the pasts bar in the oak room<br /><br />16. Where do you see yourself in one month? home, or in belgium or england with the fam <br /><br />17. What is your favorite smell? fall<br /><br />19. Do you consider yourself bi-polar? not really<br /><br />20. What is the time and the outside temperature? 7:29 pm, fucking freezing<br /><br />21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your coworkers? i dont have coworkers<br /><br />22. Have you ever gone to therapy? yes<br /><br />23. Have you ever Played Spin the Bottle? who hasnt<br /><br />24. Have you ever Toilet Papered someone's house? no<br /><br />25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? thats the story with most of the people i have liked<br /><br />26. Have you ever gone camping? yeah, hated it afterwards<br /><br />27. Have you ever had a crush on your brother's friend? i dont have a brother, but i had a 'crush' on my sisters friend (boy)<br /><br />28. Have you ever been to a nude beach? nope<br /><br />29. Have you ever drank jack daniels? yummy.<br /><br />30. Have you ever had sex on the beach? yummy<br /><br />31. Have you ever had a stalker? no i dont think so, its possible tho, i always forget these things. OMG i did, for like 30 mins tho does that count?<br /><br />32. Have you ever been in love? Yea<br /><br />33. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? fun fun<br /><br />34. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? of course<br /><br />35. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober one? maybe, i dont remember<br /><br />36. Have you ever been cheated on? no<br /><br />38. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend? most definately<br /><br />39. Have you ever felt like you were just completely rhino raped? wtf is that, seriously wtf is it<br /><br />40. Have you ever lied to your parents? most of the time<br /><br />41. Have you ever been out of the US? uh yes<br /><br />42. Have you ever thrown up from working out? yea, grosssss<br /><br />43. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight? no ive never really gotten an extreme haircut<br /><br />44. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places? i fucking hate fast food<br /><br />45. Have you ever gotten so wasted you didnt know what was going on? frequently<br /><br />46. Have you ever spied on someone you had a crush on? maybe. like not hardcore spying<br /><br />48. Have you ever seen your best friend naked? not fully, its wierd urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:13042 2005-10-27T15:27:52Z 2005-10-27T15:27:52Z sound of settling ok heres another survey, sorry guys. im bored.<br /><br />1.When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?<br />hair, it never looks right<br /><br />2. How much cash do you have on you right now?<br />a penny<br />3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?<br />chest?!<br /><br />4. Favourite plant?<br />daisies<br /><br />5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?<br />Kat Manly<br />6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?<br />OUTTA CONTROL- 50 cent. <br /><br />7. What shirt are you wearing?<br />a grey tank, with a white hoodie<br /><br />8. Do you "label" yourself.<br />nope<br />9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?<br />chucks<br />10. Do you prefer a bright or dark room?<br />DARK, i LOVE the dark LOVE it. <br /><br />11. What did you have for breakfast?<br />Special K and coffee....too much milk<br />12. Since question 12 is weirdly missing, make some shit up.<br />im in founders, updating while i should be writing my speech<br /><br />13. What were you doing at midnight last night?<br />tke<br />14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile phone say?<br />It's from Caroline, kinda private.<br />15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?<br />no no no.<br /><br />16. What's an expression that you say a lot?<br />"are u shitting me?" which apparently no one says except for me, whatever.<br /><br />17. Who told you they loved you last?<br />the mama and the baba<br /><br />18. Last furry thing you touched?<br />FAT CAT<br />19. How many hours a week do you work?<br />school- not enough<br />work- none<br />20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?<br />like a million, not that i need them for a class or anyting, buti have like rolls from 6 years ago that i still havent developed. im planning on doing it one day. <br /><br />21. Favorite age you have been so far?<br />17, the. best. year. ever. <br /><br />22. Your worst enemy?<br />many<br />23. What is your current desk top picture?<br />me, caroline and Liz at RCB, but oh wait, my computer doesnt even turn on, so i could be wrong.<br /><br />24. What was the last thing you said to someone?<br />I showed a prospie the way tp admissions, which im hoping is in CFA<br /><br />25. If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to go back in time and fix all your mistakes which would you choose?<br />money, mistakes are good. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:12759 2005-09-16T19:34:37Z 2005-09-16T19:34:37Z Cold Play- fix u yea so ive been back for a while now, its going to be two weeks this sunday and i have not updated! whats wrong with me? hehe<br />anywayz so yea this year has been going ok so far, i am loving tke, i dont know its just so chill there. my suite is cool too, i like how the entire floor including neal 3 is all friendly with one another, its comforting.<br />yea so im like really homesick now, i dont know what the fuck is wrong with me, i just got off the phone with my family and here i am crying in my mothball smelling room alone. seruiously i like start crying for now reason lately, like yesterday whe i was fucking studying i just start crying...like a baby. god<br />yea so enough depressing shit, this weekend seems like its going to be a homework weekend, but u know ill prolly end up going out as usual and leaving everything till sunday night around 10 pm and then ill be too tired etc<br />water polo is going great, but i havent been to practice in a while, im "thinking" about going to practice tonight, or peoria with erica and alisha, who knows<br />see yall at red light<br />ill update later and maybe it wont be so wierd?!<br />peace urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:12291 2005-08-30T19:24:10Z 2005-08-30T19:24:10Z Ooh La La- The Faces 1. What is your middle name? Kamile...dont laugh<br />2. What color underwear are you wearing now? black and hot pink<br />3.What are you listening to right now? say yes...elliot smith<br />4. what are the last 2 digits in your phone number? 31..40...17<br />5. What was the last thing you ate? kebab<br />6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? green<br />7. How is the weather right now? humid but breezy<br />8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Bertil<br />9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? hair, basically the whole face..lips...<br />10. Favorite type of Food? sandwhiches<br />11. Do you drink? uh yes<br />12. Do you smoke? uh yes, but not for three weeks now!!<br />13. Ever get so drunk you dont remember what you did? yes, and i had to be reminded of what i did<br />14. Hair color? always changing, but originally dark brown<br />15. Eye color? green<br />16. Do you wear contacts? no <br />17. Single? ::teartear::<br />18. Favorite Month? september<br />19. Have you ever cried for no reason? theres always a reason<br />20. Last Movie you Watched? bewtiched..just got home from the movies<br />21. Favorite Day of the Year?October 31st<br />22. Are you too shy to ask someone out? yea<br />24. Hugs or Kisses? HUGS<br />25. Chocolate or Vanilla? CHOCOLATE<br />26. Do you want your friends to respond? yes PLEASE im extremely bored<br />27. Who is most likely to respond? caroline, she did this to me all last summer, so she owes me :)<br />28. Who is least likely to respond? uhhh no idea<br />29. What books are you reading? the red tent<br />30. Piercings? nose, ears, cartilage<br />31. Fav. Movie? many...love actually, riding in cars with boys, the devils advocate etc etc i hate these questions<br />32. Fav. baseball Team? have to say the cardinals and yankees<br />34. Any pets?the greatest dog EVER, she kicks ass<br />35. AIM? +<br />36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? plain<br />37. dogs or cats? DOGS, cats suck<br />38. Favorite Flower? daisy<br />44. Have you ever fired a gun? no and i dont want to, they freak me out<br />45. Do you like to travel by plane? no, but i have nooo choice<br />46. Right-handed or Left-handed? right in everything<br />48. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3 one under my head, one over my head and one under my arm<br />49. Are you missing someone? always<br />50. Who do you think is gorgeous? COLIN FARREL. the end<br /><br /><br />well 5 days until knox, im really excited at times and then at other times im really not. more updating later....<br />p.s. caroline where the hell are ya?<br />&lt;3<br />p.p.s. i deleted the pic on facebook thinking i could upload a new one, but turns out i cant so im a question mark? how the FUCK do i fix that? i spent like an hour on it.....i was sizzling with anger urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:12274 2005-07-27T21:00:12Z 2005-07-27T21:00:12Z L-O-V-E by Al Green ok so i havent updated in like FOREVER and im sorry<br />to everyone who wrote me messages on my facebook thanks so much, i really miss all of u like crazy.<br />my excuse for not updating is that i was in Bodrum (south of turkey), well that was only for a week,<br />i dont have an excuse for like all of june and most of july. sorry ive been a lazyt ass, the one thing i did today was walk my dog, for example.<br />other than that, Bodrum was hella fun, especially with Alex, someone who is as much of a couch potato as me, hehe<br />days were spent telling people that we woudl meet up with them and then ditiching them to sleep in till the late hours of the day<br />and after we realized that the guys we were with were only after cheap british tourists, we ditched them every opportunity we could to go find hot turkish guys hehe.<br />not to mention they wanted to go to the fanciest beaches and sit amongst people who got dressed to go the fucking beach, who does that? i mean really. also i kept seeing all these people from my turkish high school who i did not want to talk to.<br />but i did run into an old enemy from KOC high school, Jason, the only other american who was there at the time, and we were enemies, but now were like tight, hehe, we shared many cigs and drinks etc. he also remembered alex which was cool so we all hung out on my bday.<br />i ran into so many people while i was there, it was wierd, poeple from different high schools in Istanbul, some from swim camps, wierd wierd wierd<br />anyway i ran into my friend Simay from high school who dropped out because she had like a drinking problem, and was in rehab in germany (shes half german half turkish) so we found her and asked if she had anything to smoke and she was like yea<br />we go to her house the next night, her dad fucking rolls a fat joint for us, we go up to the roof which is covered in white pillows and has a view of the water, so we smoked and looked at the stars. her dad then brought us honeydew melon, it was DIVINE, i must get some melons for knox, mmmmmmm so good<br />then she showed us her dads plants, where hes growing it on the fuckign roof, its so hot there i guess u can<br />how wierd is that? hehe<br />fyi people i saw the love of my life. like the hottest guy in turkey, and i sound like a 13 year old, so thats all about hot guy<br />while i was there i did miss knox, like once i started listenign to gavin degraw on my ipod, which reminds me of brian- whom i REALLY miss, big love brian<br />i cant wait to go back, and i only have a month left, but then again i know once i get there im going to miss it here<br />tomorrow night is sapphire with the Bodrum crew<br />and friday night is Reina with everyone hopefully<br />hopefully ill get really drunk hehe<br />who knows<br />i need my beauty sleep<br />peace out y'all urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:11991 2005-06-27T12:00:30Z 2005-06-27T12:00:30Z am not doing good at all, seriuosly ive had enough and im also confused myself.<br />fuck urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:11774 2005-06-11T09:11:10Z 2005-06-11T09:11:10Z billy idol-dancing with myself JENNY we have to talk about a certain new memeber in the knox xanga community who is really cute and is coming to knox, (he i sfrom topeka?!) thought u might want a heads up about him. <br />ill ttyl<br />peace out everyone urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:11440 2005-06-10T15:47:25Z 2005-06-11T09:03:41Z ballad of a paralysed citizen- the faint <font color="#330033">so being back is weird. everything is familiar, but not and people here are the same, and i forgot how frustrating they can be, and annoying. i miss knox, and everyone but HEY ALISHA'S COMING BACK (i found this out from erica's lj), i cant wait to go back, but then i tell myself ive only been here a fucking week, it cant be fun within a week, ill give it some time, meanwhile ill be sitting at home falling asleep in front of the tv eating turkey sandwhiches as usual and thinking about doing stuff. i went out on wed night, it was ok, alex and david are cool, like caroline said, but im gladf i have caroline with me at all times, haha. its comforting and normal, even though we have our differences, i still love her. Reina ( a club we go to) is getting O2C (haha). a beer was fucking 12 motherfucking dollars, 12 dollars, for a milller. wtf?? i would payit last summer, yes, but i still thought it was wrong, now i think its REALLY wrong, and i now plan to sneak in alcohol and get drunk in the bathroom, the good ole american way. i dont care, its fun and immature, but its fun to be immature, i cant be a 25 year old drinking in a bathroom stall, so i might as well do it as much as possible while no one thinks its too wierd, tonight is prom night for our school on the asian side, my side, where no one comes because its *too* far, not really, but whatever i dont know if i want to go, drinks are unlimited, but u pay like 20 bucks at the door and it will be a lot of people i know, some i like, some i dont even remember, but it woud be nice to see them again then theres a band that caroline likes at this irish pub in town playing, in an area where we would always hang out and get drunk cuz its cheap, and that sounds like a lot of fun too oh, if only i werent so indecisive. either way it will be fun. i cant wait till things go on sale here and i can shop im also looking foward to my tazo chai frap from starbucks, which i will drink at the pub, i dont give a fuck i love those damn things. sunday im going to see my relatives *yawn*, i love them, im related to them. but they dont speak english, and theyre old and smell bad, but ill get some money from them, still they live 2 hours away, so im stuck there and hence cannot escape when i feel like dying. oh well ill tell caroline to call me every half hour. ooooo, maybe ill go running along the water, they live on the water, in front of a boardwalk. who knows, too bad im fat here and people will stare at me and my "American Fatness". we're going to bodrum soon, caroline doesnt think we are because shes freaking out, but it will happen, even if we have to take the bus (worst case scenario)haha. ive really been negecting my TSO girls, and im sorry, im going to be more on my toes now and email u guys and let u know im alive and such. got my grades...poo, do NOT want to talk about it actually i just got an idea, i want to go to don juan (another place) and get drunk on cheap cosmo's, haha now that is FUN fyi im so bored here that im on facebook here more than i am at knox. well thats all for now, since im not online at the same times are u guys are im going to update more often. toodles </font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:11122 2005-06-06T11:51:05Z 2005-06-06T11:51:05Z obviously 5 believers- Bob Dylan because i have nothing to fucking do. caroline is in ankara, people are home, but i dont have the energy to call them, well actually im going to when i get home because im so incredibly bored. so bored ugh<br />and i have two american spirits left and they dont sell them here in turkey so i was thinking of just finishing them and getting it over with<br />today<br />my friend thinks i should order them<br />im not ordering cigarettes haha<br />im listening to a REALLLLLLY sad song callled february or a song by someone called february, i dont know, but its sad<br />i miss a lot of people a lot<br />esp ppl who are transfering, im really going to miss grace and alisha, even though i only got to know them at the end of the year, i have a feeling were going to be friends for a long time.<br />i just keep picturing knox the last couple days i was there minus packing and tests, and how perfect it was in a way. eveyrone was hanging out with everyone, i was with the people i love the most and i didnt have to worry about most things that i have to worry about when im home as dumb as they are, like wieght, my parents, showering, when should i smoke, when should i not, going out and getting there (ugh such a pain) and everyone living in other areas of the city and not seeing my friends everyday, balh i should stop complaining, but im sucha complainer.<br />tonight i might go out tho, that should cheer me up and then i have to start WORKING<br />eck<br />baby sitting and working at a pre-school<br />pleck, kids in the HEAT, but it pays well and its not for very long so whatev, and theyre foreign kids<br />i joined a pool and gym, so i should start going to that<br />i should also email the minutes from our last meeting that was a million days ago, sorry<br />i miss TSO, i love u guys!!!!!! we have to keep in touch<br />i really want some coffee<br />i have to go work out soon<br />this is a WIERD lj entry, hehe<br />im really mad at some people, u know who u are<br />marius is coming soon, i cant wait to go down south, grill burgers at my house, drink beer, shmoke a little and pass out on the beach, then head into the main part of town and stay at a hotel, which caroline organized, and do the same things, just in public, haha<br />i was thinking about piercing my belly button, once i can see it, haha, who knows, my sister did it and it looks prettyy cool<br />i had a wierd dream last night, left me feeling TRES wierd when i woke up and a little sad.<br />i heard the song by "the game" in the car on friday night, made me feel wierd, yea so.<br />ahaha fyi i just read my lj entry over and if u didnt know me and u read this u would think i was TOTALLY wierd, but im really not, i just think lj is stupid, but i feel that i have to update, so i do and my entries are very random, i have to work on that. <br />but for now<br />im going to be online a little more, work out, shower and go shopping<br />peace out urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:10835 2005-05-25T06:56:29Z 2005-05-25T06:56:29Z ABBA- dancing queen hahaha so its 1:55 am and im still up doing nothing<br />but eating lots of food which is a sandwhich, 2chocloate bars, 2 applsauces and gatorade,lots<br />im so tired too and i have tons of work that i havent done because i was out doing jack shit and this always happens to me for some reason, on sunday night at like 10 ill be like i have to pack my ENTIRE room and write an essay...fuck<br />so spring term has been good, sunny, warm wahtever its been fun and now its over<br />and we have to start a brand new year, a whole year<br /><br />and i need to start working more, seriously<br /><br />and i need to stop smoking so much and writing lj entries that make no sense<br />good night<br />finish time: 1:58 am<br />YES 3 mins urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:10581 2005-05-23T07:14:45Z 2005-05-23T07:14:45Z my fan....and this wierd humming this is blah blah blah....she lives in a cardboard hut on the edge of a cliff.....<br />HAHAHAHA urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:10473 2005-05-22T18:56:33Z 2005-05-22T18:56:33Z Dido- dont leave home so last night was fiji island<br />i missed it all day because i was trying to get over my deadly hangover which was fucking annoying as hell<br />but im better now because i didnt drink last night<br />oh well<br />it was still fun, but i t was so fucking hot and crowded i seriously thought i was going to die for a while, i could feel sweat like pooling on me, it was gross,<br />plus i was coming down so i was supier tired, but i perked up every once in a while when a good song came on :)<br />i realized that last night i was acting kinda wierd and im sorry, its just that i dont want to get attached, the term is over and im going to another country, not anohter state and things would be hard. i cant explain it, bah, u know what i mean, i guess i should make it more clear and i will<br />yesterday i also realized that i lead two very different lives, one here and one there. the kind of music i listen to, the way i dress, act, the food i eat, the schedule i have. its just wierd, like i didnt really realize it before, and im kinda glad but kinda sad about it, i like the life i lead here and there, and i hate that i cant have it both ways, its so incrdibly different that i feel the minute im in the car driving home ive already changed and i have to adjust, and then when i come back here in the fall im going to feel the same way, that im going to have to adjust or something, and it sucks<br />and im going to be sad to leave, i like knox<br />i like my friends here<br />i like being under the influence of something like every night<br />i just like it<br />and its going to be wierd to go back to rules and parents all the time, thats so fucking annoying to get used to. <br />i hope next year will be ok too, to like get back into the swing of things, working more, more shit blah blah blah<br /><br />but i cant wait to go home, the beach, the sun, hookah, bars, and most importantly of all SLEEP!! :)<br />well i g2g and start packing...huh...wierd hahahah<br />and i have to figure out how to take my finals early! this is gonna suck its going to be so stressful<br /><br />ill update again, hahah, its updating week!!!! wooooooot<br /><br />ttfn! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:10050 2005-05-21T20:59:21Z 2005-05-21T20:59:21Z cut it ya match it- Dispatch so ive finally decided that my body cant handle alcohol anymore for some odd reason. last night i passed out by 12:30am because i seriosuly couldnt walk, i dont know what the fuck is wrong with me. we finished a bottle of tequilla (katie, caroline and i)and weve done that before, and ntohing happened to me really. but its funny because earlier on this week, wed night, i drank some lovely home brew alcohol, curtesy of Catherine Ray :), and had three shots of vodka and again i was puking all over the place and i felt incredibly drunk to the point where i couldnt move. and this mornign i woke up around 2, ate and i still feel like shit and im just A LITTLE curious, uh when is it gonna go away.<br />i never wanna feel like that again<br />ever<br />i hate it<br />hahaha<br />u all know ill be drinking sooner or later lol<br />other than that there is ONE week left!!!!! were leaving a week from monday, well caroline and i are, and then were back, for the whole summer and im going to have finished my first year of college, and it passed by so quickly, seriously, i dont remember anything clearly. but im going to have to get more serious next year, work wise, i didnt work very much this year and it was bad, but oh well, at least im still IN school, haha.<br />i also think ive changed a lot this year, in a lot of different ways, and i like the way i turned out, as lame as that is, of course there are still some things that are annoying about me, but theres always something right?<br />OMG this ALWAYS happens, im in the mood to update and then midway i dont wanna do it anymore, so im not gonna, ugh im so lazy<br />tonight:<br />-water polo bbq<br />-shmokin<br />-shower<br />-fiji island<br /><br />p.s. i like the fact that when im really drunk and making myself puke, like last night, i laugh, b/c c'mon it is KINDA funny<br />peace out urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:9782 2005-04-28T05:08:17Z 2005-04-28T05:08:17Z ANGEL IS A CENTERFOLD! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO everyone<br />jenny im coming to get you<br />siobhan U are a pussy suck, hehe<br />matt you have no face<br />caroline,...hahahahaha <br />what is up peeps? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:9532 2005-04-27T01:07:46Z 2005-04-27T01:07:46Z U2- hold me, thrill me, kiss me AGREED<br />i miss BPK too!!!!!<br />please come back IMMEDIATELY<br />&lt;3<br />BBFF (booger best friends for life)<br />:) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:9352 2005-04-26T18:39:25Z 2005-04-26T18:39:25Z Oasis- songbird i never thought that steak n shake was a good idea from 2am- 3am but apparently it is, especially when yoiu sit inside and your security guard is there from your school and he looks like a vampire!!! didnt he?? come on thats wierd.<br />so yea were going to nationals and im pumped the onlt thing that im freaking out is that i think were gonna lose, heheh hardcore...division one clubs...great<br />but ive never been to texas, so now i can say i have and my buddies moved the formal for me!!! isnt that nice?? im glad i can go now i just dont have a date... but i have someone in mind.<br />speaking of this, hehe, i just dont know what i want anymore, i act really retarded when im nervous and it doesnt do me any good, and on top of that i feel like certain people are trying to get in the way, either on purpose or...not. u never know<br />thing is, i finally found a little bit of strength in me to step out of this certain mindset i had before that was basically really bringing me down, and i foudn something, but now i feel like it was all in my head, like i never really found anything, but i was so vulnerable and fragile that it seemed great, i guess its not, and thats fine, but i need to decide for myself what i really want and then as long as i know what im aiming for, and hopefully ill find out what im working against, then ill be ok with everything.<br />but on a happier note, i cant wait for the TSO formal, its gonna be fun, i just have to ask my date to go hahaha, i think he knows im gonna ask him though already, i told him i needed to talk to him a while ago and i think he got it. i just need a dress.<br />its also wierd the way u think people are ur friends and then they go and do sneaky shit, which is just childish, and im not falling for it, i can see right through you.<br />eck,....polo prac...sleep, clean, work<br />college is hard :P <br />PEACE OUT urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:9126 2005-04-23T18:39:11Z 2005-04-23T18:39:11Z the byrds-- turn turn turn! even though i never really updated at anytime in my life, its annoying, but i thought i should because its been like since winter term. ive just been too lazy and busy at the same time, i have 4 fucking classes which sux, but i only go to three so its ok. stuff has been happening lately though,<br />FLUNK Day:<br />it was fuuuuuuuun, we started off the morning with an alarm (lame, yes i know)took shots in the room with allie beechick, went over to meryl and siobhans room took more shots...mailroom....beta.....shots.....room....shots....mudpit....shots.....foam pit.... shots..... then its kinda black for a while, hehe and then the slip n slide at TKE where i got so many bruises, people thought i had been in a massive mosh pit, which isnt true, i did it to myself haha.<br />there are highlights though:<br />throwing a lot of mud in adins face in the beginning, dancing with a keystone box on my head in the foam pit, peeing with caroline and meryl outside of CFA (we thought no one could see us, we were wrong, actually some people waved), re-uniting with caroline on the giz patio....we started crying...wierd.... caroline sitting in rice....I ATE A WORM...this is in caps because i was reminded of it....i couldnt even remember it...weird and gross..eck.<br />smoking in the room, passing out for like 10mins in the quads, eating...sat on my hotdog, which i then scraped from my shorts and ate...hehhehee it wasnt that bad!<br />finding caroline at the stupid acapella concert which she thought was the best concert she had been to in years, but that was because she was drunk and had been since 6am...i dont think it stopped until like 2 am when she went to bed because she took shots like every 2 hours, and she announced who her favorite knox people were ;)....chilled in the bowl...i promise never to freak out again guys, being with caroline and miriam, and after cat left us at the movie, we had no idea what we were doing there....wandered around some more, wwatched some people drunk box....wierd<br />jenny then thought it would be a good idea to have a party in her room...so we drank again at like 10 and then i passed out on the lawn outside and security woke me up to check if i was alive, i told them i was 'thinking' and then i went back to sleep and kevin brightman woke me up pretending to be security which was quite funny....i then ate 30000000000 chocolate covered pretzels...thank you noah.... ate some more shit...went to bed and caroline stayed up, drunk, watching tv and eating ramen...who knows....<br />tuesday i woke up so sore and discovered bruises everywhere. thats about it<br />but i had a good flunk day....it started off really well, continued to be really good until like 9 pm. oh well, sometimes people fight anf things happen, i just wish it hadnt.thats all...who knows<br /><br />so thats it about flunk day, hehhe<br />other than that last night was fun, didnt drink, hung out until like 2, went to steak n shake where i got the best mint milk shake ever around 1 am, then passed out after eating 2 uncrustables...ewww<br />knox is getting better, im gonna be sad when i have to go home for the summer, not that i hate going home, but knox is familiar now, and nextyear im gonna have to get used to a new room, new poeple eck, just new things....oh well i am still excited,...our suite is gonna be insane next year, i think i may go crazy and i am freaking out now.... im just glad caroline is my roommate again, i dont knwo what id do without her, i know sometimes we drive eachother crazy and could literally kill eachother, but there are times when we realize how lucky we are to have eachother, and how much our friendship really means to us, depsite our differences.<br /><br />i hope tonight is fun, the beta party and harrisons, where i would prefer to stay, but ill be all over.<br />the sorority is doign well, heheh i havent really been doing my job as secretary, i have to get on that. were all becoming closer though which is good, we need to and its still gonna take time, im happy with the friendships i have here, i really am. and im happy with the way things are going lately. its all good hahaha<br />waterpolo was fun, it was the first time id ever played and i really liked it. too bad we lost, but its ok.<br /><br />yea so thats it, hehehe<br />peace out urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:8829 2005-03-09T19:04:34Z 2005-03-09T19:04:34Z i have been up since 8, thats the earliest ive been up out of my own initiative....ugh<br />at least all my psych reading is done and all i have to do tonight it review...but then i have an anso paper and an iis final to study for.<br />this really sucks, i really hate finals time<br />well anyways i have a review session at like 2:30. so im off to the library until then..then ill take a break and go running. eck this is so boring.<br />good luck to everyone!!!!<br />&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:8551 2005-03-08T01:50:05Z 2005-03-08T01:50:05Z caroline and i talking what is this new lj u speak of jenny davis and why am i not added to your friends list? do this IMMEDAITELY otherwise, we shall never speak again :)<br />&lt;3 you!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:8416 2005-03-06T02:47:49Z 2005-03-06T02:47:49Z JET- are you gonna be my girl? reading drunked entries from the night before is so fun <br />because i sound like an idiot and i make no sense.<br />lalalalalalala urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:8184 2005-03-05T10:00:36Z 2005-03-05T21:56:40Z snow patrol- chocolate! im realt stoned btw, i smoked twice tonight once, out of a bong then the second time when we came back.<br />can we just talk about how breaking into the fieldhouse and gong in the pool was the best idea ever!!!<br />and yes i got drunk in the room, and then went to TKE just because we like it. <br />and got more drunk there and danced some,<br />the goin g to the pool was the best idea, and yes i did make out with zach, and we saw catherine!!! it as so wierd!!!!! ahahaha but fun times in the pool!!!<br />and yes i did cry on the walk home and dont remember it very well, ben and his friends from st louis were in our room eating turkish food, fun!!<br />i dont know, lately i cant stop thining about ths person, and whenever i hook up wth anyone else i always think about him, its fucked up and has to end now.... i can t take it. if he does like me, then he would show it and he doesnt, but i wish he would, i would love to show him how much i like him....<br />shit happens, things get fucked up but i can always rely on my best friend make me feel better, or tries to make me feel better.<br />i hope tings workl out for me, and i dont end up this 45 year old alone, all alone. <br />i have to go to bed, im eating too many nuts and im too stoned to live anymore,<br />having a cig and going to bed..<br />peace urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:7735 2005-03-05T01:43:07Z 2005-03-05T01:43:07Z Rufus Wainwright- one man guy were the most stressful days of my life. i guess its because i worked, hehe. i had an essay due at 5 and it sucked BIG balls, hard core, well whatever at least its done and over with....<br />whats going on tonihgt??? ahh, theres nothing going on lately....but its ok... i had some vodka already, lol<br />im kinda glad that this term will be over soon, i cant wait to get home, to no one except my family, i need some family time. ill have caroline, hehehe as always.<br />i guess im just not girlfriend material...quoting marius, thanks... :P j/k<br />anywayzzzzz NOTHING is going on in my life<br />later on im going to make an entry of all teh pro's and con's of this term, because im bored. <br />i hope tionguht is fun...<br />fyi i have a collection of new pimples, so im going to name them, and i also dont have any toothpaste, i ahvent for like this whole week, ive been bumming off poeple, hehehe im such a mooch...right? :)<br />well g2g hit the books, i have an online quiz, cheer!<br />c uuuuuu urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:7498 2005-03-03T03:26:35Z 2005-03-03T03:26:35Z ben harper- show me a little shame Basics...<br /><br />name = Sibel Karabeyoglu<br />piercings = ears,cartiladge, nose<br />tattoos = nope<br />height = 5'8<br />hair color = now, brown but it always changes<br />eye color = green<br /><br />Last...<br /><br />movie rented = i honestly dont remember, i hate wathcing movies with lots of people, only at home<br />movie bought = riding in cars with boys, hehe see? i just dont like movies that much<br />song listened to = ben harper- show me a little shame<br />song stuck in your head = my boo by usher and alicia keys, ahaha<br />cd bought = mustafa sandal<br />cd listened to = joss stone<br />person you called = caroline<br />person that called you = marius<br />person you've beaten up = my sis<br />tv show watched = friends<br />peherson you were thinking of = hmmm.....<br />Do...<br /><br />you have a crush on someone = yes yes yes <br />you wish you lived somewhere else = uh, yea<br />you and your parents get along = yea, and its COOL<br />you believe in online dating = uh, no<br />others find you attractive = yea, im hte hottest shit around (as she chews 100000 nuts in her mouth)<br />you want more piercings = yea, tongue and belly button<br />you like cleaning = YES i looooove vaccuuming and im proud of it!<br />you like rollar coasters = yea, especially when u feel like your gonna die<br />you write in cursive or print = a mixture of both<br /><br />For or Against...<br /><br />long distance relationships = against...<br />suicide = NEIN!<br />killing people = uh, no<br />teenage smoking = FOR because its meeeee<br />driving drunk = NO!<br />gay/lesbian relationships = id have to say for, whats the big deal?<br />soap operas = FOr, they are my LIFE<br /><br />Have you...<br /><br />ever cried over a girl = yups<br />ever cried over a boy = countless times<br />ever been shipped away because you caused trouble = shipped? eh? nooo<br />ever been cheated on = nope <br />ever cheated on someone = no, i dont think so<br />been suspended = no<br />ever lied = i lie allll the time :P<br />ever been slapped = dont think so, ive def slapped some tho hehe<br />ever been arrested = no, and never wanna be. cops scare me<br /><br />What...<br /><br />shampoo do you use = most of the time pantene pro-v, but for now im dealing with Vive L'oreal<br />shoes do you wear = all shoes! i LOVE shoes!<br />are you scared of = sharks, needles, spiders, guns, cops and thats it<br /><br />Number...<br /><br />of times i've been in love = 2<br />of times i've had my heart broken = twice :(<br />of girls i've gone out with = everyone<br />of girls i've kissed = three, or more, i dont know its always when im drunk<br />of girls i've slept with = in the same bed? like all my friends and my sister and mom<br />of boys i've slept with = .....<br />of girls/boys you've obsessed over that wouldn't date you = 2<br />How many girls/boys were obsessed with me that i wouldnt date = 3<br />of times my name has been in the newspaper = dont know, but i have been in it<br />of scars on my body = leg, eyebrow, arm<br />of regrets = many<br />of girls that have seen you naked = how should i know? i dont count the number of people looking at me<br />of boys that have seen you naked= 4.<br /><br /><br />Do you think you are...<br /><br />pretty = i told you..im the hottest shit around<br />funny = sometimes<br />hot = YA :P<br />friendly = i hope i am!<br />amusing = yea, people like to laugh at me.hahaha<br />ugly = when i wake up, and when im stoned<br />loveable = i guess<br />caring = yea, i hope so<br />sweet = yes<br />dorky = to the max<br /><br />Favorite...<br /><br />five letter word = sibel...ahaha my name<br />actor/actress = kate winslet, drew barymore, colin farrel, others too<br />candy = BABY RUTH<br />cartoon = my little pony most def, but a long time ago<br />cereal = golden grams, pops, raisin bran<br />color = purple, pink, green, black<br />color nair polish = french<br />day of the week = friday evening, ahaha thats part of a day<br />least favorite day of the week = tuesday<br />flower = hyacinth, daisys and magnolias<br />jello flavor = cherry<br />jewelry = earrings, necklaces<br />talents = i dont knwo<br />summer or winter = both<br />trampoline or swimming pool = sp<br /><br />Person who last...<br /><br />slept in your bed = myself<br />saw you cry = my dad<br />made you cry = caroline<br />went to the movies with you = leah brian caroline<br />yelled at you = marius<br /><br />Have you ever...<br /><br />said i love you and meant it = fo sure<br />ran away = from home= no, from other stuff= yea!<br />been chased by the cops = i think so<br />gone out in public in your pajamas = sunday brunch and class hehe<br />cried during a movie = yes of course, and theyre usually my fav ones!<br />planned your week based on a tv guide = uh, no thats wierd<br />been on stage = yup<br />been to new york = yes<br />been to california = no<br />hawaii = nope.<br />china = uh, no<br />canada = yes actually<br />europe = uh, yea<br />africa = nooo <br />australia = no<br />wished you were the opposite sex = sometimes, but being a girl is fun<br />what time is it now = 9:23 pm<br /><br />Choose...<br /><br />Do you believe in love at first sight = eh, not really<br />do you want children one day = YES<br />boys name = Colin<br />girls name = Emma<br />most important thing to a friendship = trust and equality<br /><br />Other info...<br /><br />criminal record = no<br />last time you were drunk = saturday night<br />last time you were high = i am high<br />do you speak any other languages = turkish, german<br />last book you read = the fucking harmless peole ugh<br />important things in your room = BED, comp, ipod, coffee maker<br />how do you vent = work out, listen to music or tell caroline and my sister<br />how old do you look = very old, wrinkly...what the hell question is that?<br />how old do you act = pretty mature i hope<br />what makes you happy = having fun with my friends, laughing, listening to music, being in the total comfort of my home<br />what upsets you = guys...work....friends.....me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shnibz:7350 2005-03-03T02:55:43Z 2005-03-03T02:55:43Z sophie B hawkins- damn i wish i was your lover i just ate 10 chocolate balls, like the size of ping pong balls. woooot!!! in 15 mins!<br />YUM!